Wards

So this week we now have 3 out of the 4 wards up and running...max fax began a couple of weeks ago, with plastics and general surgery beginning this week. Has been a busy few weeks, sometimes feels like just about keeping my head above water, more so with the emotional side of things I think. Is hard to not just give into all of the emotions that fly around your head or to do the opposite and shut them out and not see the patient in front of you as a person, beautifully and fearfully made in God's image.

The very first day was very tough as we had 2 scans that came back from young patients (both in their 20s), showing large tumours (probable lymphomas) that we could operate and treat with chemotherapy and radiotherapy at home. However we had to admit that we do not have the means to treat them; there is no proper oncology service here in Togo. I called the patient life team; an amazing group of people headed by Clementine Tengue (a Togolese woman who has been working with Mercy Ships for many years), who then broke the news to both patients that we could do nothing for them medically apart from offering palliation and prayer. Walking back to the ward trying hard to compose myself I bump into the chief medical officer and max fax surgeon for the ship who asks the dreaded question "Are you ok?"

To which I descend into a bit of verbal diarrhoea and blink back tears, he then says 'You have to care, the minute you stop is when you should stop being a doctor..'

Is hard to care, it costs to care, but I would much rather be valuing people and showing them love and ultimately God's love and view of them then shutting myself off. Dr Gary had also said the importance of looking the patient in the eye to show them you see them and not just their deformity and I really learnt the importance of this a couple of days ago when I was admitting a little boy for removal of bony overgrowth and tissue from his face. He is 7 and is from Ghana. He came with his mum, wearing a teatowel over half of his face and a hat to keep it on. He wouldn't make eye contact during the whole consultation and kept on fidgeting with the cloth to make sure it was still covering. When his mum took it off to show me he hid his face in her lap. This (medically is known as fibrous dysplasia) and has resulted in an overgrowth of all the bony structures of the left side of his face. This has left his face hugely deformed with his left eye pushing outwards and his vision quickly deteriorating. He has also been suffering with recurrent nose bleeds and finds it difficult to eat and now breathe. When I was examining him, through my stupid dancing and gesturing we got a smile and I think he realises now we are all seeing him and not the growth, which has ostracised him for so long now. He is a different little boy on the wards already and has gone for his operation today, please be praying for him as he recovers. A specific prayer for him is regarding the need of blood; his blood count was very low when he came in and we gave him a unit pre operatively. However he has a rarer blood type amongst the donors on board (they call it the 'walking blood bank' as when a patient requires blood, the donor who matches their blood group is called to give a unit). We only have 3 donors left with his blood type currently registered so are running out if he needs some more.

I'm excited to see his first look in the mirror; has been a great moment with all of the other patients peeking a look underneath their bandages! Will hopefully get some photos of him to share..

"Not by might, nor by power, but through my spirit says the Lord" Zechariah 4 v 6